Ek Ladke Ko Dekha Toh Aisa Laga…
Pfft. Same old story.
You can complain all you want about the Indian Railways but, my fellow Bakwaas-is, it is the largest undefeated employer in the world and trust me, it could also be Shaadi.com.
It was nustling hot outside and tundra region indoors; because Indian Railways do not believe in Medicrity. It is either Journey to the center of the earth or ‘Mujhe zyada kapde pehne chahiye the yaar’. My humble point being, I really like Trains (there is a lot of Bakwaas en route) and I was on one!
It was the usual journey. Pune-Nagpur-: stinky platforms, Coolie No1, frantic people and blazing AC (if you got the swag). My mom had come to drop me off. The typical, ‘Paani leke aau?’ ‘Kuch khayegi?’ (Chill Indian Parents; seeing off your daughter 500 Kms away isn’t a Vidaai ceremony). She said, “Koi kuch de toh khana nahi”, “Go to the Loo”, “Chappal sambhal kar rakhna”, “Look after your bags” (Oh, Bags are more important than me, psst). Here comes the Killer.
‘Do not talk to Strangers’
And then, ‘He’ walked in…Tall, lean, broody, clean shaven, side parted silky shiny hair, Manchester United Fan, 2nd year Engineering student and eyes…*starts singing Blue eyes hypnotize teri, kardi hai menu* (Yo Yo Bunny Singh kabhi toh kaam aaya).
Our eyes met, and SNAP! EK LADKE KO DEKHA TOH AISA LAGA…
My ride (oops) was gonna be eventful. He settled in, my mom gave me the Death Stare *But Master, Dobby is innocent* Jhug Jhug Gaadi started. *Chal chaiyya chaiyya* (Excuse me for singing too much Bollywood).
He asked me, “Shall I keep my bottle here?”
I said, “Give me all you got, Baibeeh.” (Obviously, a simple yes would suffice.)
The usual, “Hi, I am Birdy.”
“Hi, I am the hot guy who makes you sing Honey Singh.”
“I am going to Nagpur.”
“I am going someplace you are really going to like.” (I swear my eggs died a little)
On Indian Trains, the guy with the Laptop is GOLD and so was he. He got really engrossed in his VAIO SVF1413x(Yes, I am very observant; it was only blocking my view). Also, on trains offering food is the beginning of a relationship. So I did. He ate my Biscuit! (OH YEAH!) We made some small talk, and Boo Yeah! He asked me if I wanted to watch a movie with him. He picked ‘The Notebook’. (Really?)
He likes Rom-coms.
He likes gossip.
He was reading Filmfare.
He was listening to Akon.
I am Straight.
The stars weren’t as bright anymore. 16 hours with him and my fantasy bars were on a low. It was 11:45 p.m. and his phone rang ‘You’re my honey Bunny’. He excused himself, took the call.
The last straw.
Ek Ladke ko Dekha toh aisa laga, ab sona chahiye Yaar.