I have often told myself, ‘Don’t cry yourself to sleep’. But, no. No one is listening.
Here I am sharing this recurring dream I’ve had for like 4 years now.
Abandoned buildings or houses scare me to death. They remind me of isolation, desolation and Death. Death frightens me to levels I can’t even describe.
This dream of mine has been extremely disturbing because, I NEVER WANT TO DO IT.
It’s dark and I seem to walk towards daylight, like emerging out of a tunnel. I got my flip flops, jean shorts and a purple T-shirt on (Which is my favorite outfit, always). I don’t really see my face, but I am sure it’s me. It’s everything about that figure that reminds me of me. I am heading towards a deserted 4 storey building. It has been demolished, or burnt or ravaged… I am not quite sure. I make my way up the stairs; I swear I feel like I am reluctant to do so. I get up to the roof, and it is breezy, sheepishly windy. I make my way to the already tarnished ledge. I look down. It’s pretty much dark. I don’t know if I will ever touch the ground, dead or alive. But I am staring down, I see myself… Smile.
And, I am wide awake. I often jolt and sit up, its like I had to make a decision, and I just didn’t. I never jump off the ledge in the delusion (I hope I never do). It is almost surreal, I can feel myself losing my balance, tumbling into nothing.
I believe my dream is symbolic. It stands for a choice. I often have this nightmare (if it is one), on nights that I am upset, sad or depressed. It says something to me, I still haven’t figured it out.
Next time I dream, Please, Someone wake me up…