A Complete Guide to Indian Birthdays

They are hilarious.

Booze and Bakwaas


“If you were born, you had birthdays. If you were born Indian, you had diplomatic affairs.” Birthdays in India are a particularly extravagant affair. Like Indian weddings. Or funerals. Or christenings. Or a boy’s first shit. (WTF India!!). But no, birthdays are particularly important. You have to celebrate the anniversary of the birth of a child. It’s not like 8 children are being born every second in India.

A child’s first birthday is testament to the fact that as a community, Indians are penny wise pound foolish. Parents spend hours and hours debating on the catering, the decorations for a party for about 200 people while the guest of honor has greater worries that include whose lap to piss on and how to cry loud enough to deafen 200 guests at once.

Then when you go to school: On your Birthday you are to wear the most dhinchak

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